The following is a spoof on typical articles on blogs today.
The 5 things everyone should know. Hi, I’ve searched the universe for wisdom and I actually found some. In fact, I found approximately 223,000 individual bits of wisdom from all reaches of the galaxy. Today, I’d like to share with my readers just 5 of the best. I know you all like bullet points, that’s how you take your intellectual nutrition, in little bites, not all at once to be sure, but in safe little bites, after all, we wouldn’t want you to choke on too big a peice of wisdom, now would we? That would result in someone else having to perform an intellectual Heimlich maneuver, and since you are no doubt alone at your computer reading this, that is hardly a viable option now is it? Humm. So I know I’m keeping you in suspense, I know that you are thinking right now about ditching this and moving on to the next article because this does not appear to be leading anywhere at all, and in fact appears to be rambling, and perhaps you’re right, and knowing that all but the most bored among you have already bailed, that you are anxious to read my bullet points, and you’re hoping that in the vast wasteland of mental masturbation, that somewhere in here, you are hoping I get to the damn point….OK, OK, I think I have filled up a quota of sufficient nonsense so it looks like I have said something, after all, quantity is the most important thing….OK, OK, here we go! The 5 things everyone should know.
1.) One. One is the loneliest number. When there is only one, there are no more. I know this sounds like I’m stating the obvious, but think about it, I am.
2.) Two. With two, you have more than one, in fact, you have one more!
3.) Three. Two people can make a baby, then there are three. Sometimes, three is a crowd.
4.) For. You really should stand for something. I’m really teaching you now!
5.) Five. I got nothing. I already wrote the title so I’m too lazy to change it now.
Hope this article has been useful.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Hehe, yes this has been very useful. I dont know how i ever survived without knowing this;) But the truth is that you are so right. Maybe 5. could be: five is 3 more than one, just with one more.
lol I think you probably lost at no. 5. Your posts have some good meaning in them. I never gave much thought about One, Two & Three. I would love to have such wisdom tonics coming up so that we ignorant ones can feed our mind constantly. Thank you buddy.